Reflecting on change

A year ago there were a few defining moments that changed my life.  I had my interview for PA school.  That, in and of itself, was a huge opportunity.  I helped with the PF Chang Rock'n Rock Marathon.  I had an informal interview with the school's director at the time. This gave me the chance to really show who I was.  Not only did it give me the opportunity to get my foot in the door, but it also allowed me to really be me.  I expressed my real desires for going to PA school and what my passions in life were, while showing that I was really committed to helping people.

I met a great guy that taught me how to be confident with who I was and who I wanted to become.  He brought out a lot of great qualities in me!  He helped me grow, spiritually and mentally.  He challenged my knowledge while pushing me to go after my dreams.  Our relationship developed, and burned, a couple times, but overall I look back on the experience and am thankful for the things I learned.  I know more of what I want in myself and what I want in my best friend.  I've actually been thinking a lot about him lately.  He doesn't live around here anymore and we don't talk (which is for my benefit), but a lot of things have triggered memories of him and us.  We really did have something great, and I miss that.  I miss our conversations, our adventures together, and mostly the friendship.  Oh, to one day have that again.

I remember "the call" I received while I was at work.  I had looked at my phone and didn't recognize the number, but could tell it was from somewhere in the valley.  I listened to the message Dr. Pavlick had left me.  I immediately called him back, leaving a message to call me at work.  Within 30 minutes, he returned my phone call.  Dr. Rhey had poked his head into the office and was like "You're taking a personal phone call?" I looked at him and said, "Yes. This is about school."   I was trying so hard to be calm and professional when I spoke with Dr. Pavlick, but in truth I was anxious and shaky.  Was this really happening?  Was this the call I'd been waiting for?  My life was about to change become it was my invitation call for school.

As I've been reflecting upon all the changes within this last year, I have noticed that I have been surprised to where my life has come.  I remember the first weeks before school.  I was anticipating beginning school.  Was I really prepared to go to graduate school?  And is this really what I wanted?  Would I get along with my classmates?  And would I learn what I needed to become a great PA?  Well, I am still in school and pursuing my dreams.  That's amazing, considering the classes I've been through and the workload that is unbearable at times.  I've made some great friends who understand me and make the long days enjoyable.  I'm learning all sorts of new things, whether the information is sticking or not is another question.  Truthfully, though, most of it has been sticking, and I've been building even more information upon that.  Is this really what I want?  I still ask myself that question, but then when I talk with PAs or others in the healthcare world, I remember what this is all about.  Yes, it's hard and there never seems to be enough time to give my best.  But I have to just do what I can in the time that I have available.  I think partly why I love medicine is that it is always changing.  That means I will constantly be learning and progressing in my field.  What more could I ask for?

There have been many other changes over the year.  I've moved.  I've made new friends.  Had heartaches.  Enjoyed the  simple things.  Made mistakes.  Been watched over.  Loved.  Struggled.  Watched friends have big changes in their lives.  Seen the progress and set backs that make each of us become a new person...whether we grow or give up, something changes.  I guess that's why we are constantly learning.  And I am continually trying to give my best and balance my life wisely.  Even though most days I want things to be a little easier, life wouldn't be as excited if is was!