What defines me?

 I have been doing some thinking these past weeks about who I am and what really defines me.  Questions about my interests like "What am I good at doing," "What do I enjoying accomplishing," "How do I like to spend my time," and "What are some desires of my heart" have been floating around my thoughts.  There are many things that have been triggering these subtle, yet demanding notions in my life. 

 What really defines me?  Is it how I spend my time?  Or things that of are interest?  What do people really see in me?  Can they see that I have good, righteous desires?  That I want to make something great out of the life given to me?  Or do they see only a reserved person that I present most of the time?  

 Why am I so guarded toward some people and then so trusting to those that may continuely crush my heart?  How do I open up without being too giving of my soul? 

 The "why's?" that are indirectly carving my path are unknown to me.  I will probably never understand some occurances or reasoning behind unpredicted events/outcomes.  Fortunately, there are so many other things that fill my mind right now.  My dreams these days are about action potentials, where a certain muscle inserts, and pathology behind many clinical concerns.  I love the structure school provides and finding ways to make this overwhelming learning process have value to me and my future patients.  It fascinates me how the mind works, and how loss of function can occur when certain areas of the brain are not used for a period of time, like mine.  I am still trying to remember how to keep all the information in my brain while having it make make sense of it when trying to apply certain concepts.  It is challenging and invigorating.

 So what really defines me?  I think there are a lot of aspects to that question.  Yes, my interests and desires are a part of that, along with how I spend my time and with whom I interact with daily.  There are so many things I want to accomplish - I want to be a successful, helpful healthcare provider to my patients.  I want to marry a great companion and ultimately my best friend.  I want to have a wonderful family.  I want to enjoy the blessings of my great family I have now.  I want to learn how to enjoy the moment rather that be so focused on what the future will bring. 

 If I make the most of each day and really utilize the time and talents given to me, then my character is becoming refined into that person I desire to be. 

 More will come with time.