I am not so different!

It is amazing how the many experiences I have had over the years relate to what I am learning in school.  Hearing about the oddities that are realities makes my stories not so unique.  I do not feel as out of place knowing that other people have had similar, yet different experiences.  Not that I have every really felt out of place, except during those unfortunate middle school years, but I have had some interesting experiences in my day.  For example, I had an allergic reaction to milk and broke out in eczema, or when the doctor found maggots in my ears, or the anxiety and fear before my thyroid surgery.  These strange, unique experiences will help me face the challenges that are presented to me as a physician’s assistant.  I look forward to those cases.  I can not wait for all the excitement in my life to begin.  And every day in class, I learn something new that will pertain to those future days.

A few great quotes...

“Sometimes with sumdges on our cheeks, dirt on our hands, and shoes untied, stammeringly but smilingly we prsent God with a dandelion - as if it were an orchid or a rose! If for now the dandelion is the best we have to offer, He receives it, knowing what we may later place on the alter.”  Elder Neal A. Maxwell  

“Now is the time to commit yourself to the Lord as to what you will become during this mortal probation.” Elder John B. Dickson  “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you. . . And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians 4:31-32 

Dr. Sidney Simon, a recognized authority on values realization, has provided an excellent definition of forgiveness as it applies to human relationships: 

“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.”  

Â

I think I may have figured out how to put pictures up from flickr now.Â

What defines me?

 I have been doing some thinking these past weeks about who I am and what really defines me.  Questions about my interests like "What am I good at doing," "What do I enjoying accomplishing," "How do I like to spend my time," and "What are some desires of my heart" have been floating around my thoughts.  There are many things that have been triggering these subtle, yet demanding notions in my life. 

 What really defines me?  Is it how I spend my time?  Or things that of are interest?  What do people really see in me?  Can they see that I have good, righteous desires?  That I want to make something great out of the life given to me?  Or do they see only a reserved person that I present most of the time?  

 Why am I so guarded toward some people and then so trusting to those that may continuely crush my heart?  How do I open up without being too giving of my soul? 

 The "why's?" that are indirectly carving my path are unknown to me.  I will probably never understand some occurances or reasoning behind unpredicted events/outcomes.  Fortunately, there are so many other things that fill my mind right now.  My dreams these days are about action potentials, where a certain muscle inserts, and pathology behind many clinical concerns.  I love the structure school provides and finding ways to make this overwhelming learning process have value to me and my future patients.  It fascinates me how the mind works, and how loss of function can occur when certain areas of the brain are not used for a period of time, like mine.  I am still trying to remember how to keep all the information in my brain while having it make make sense of it when trying to apply certain concepts.  It is challenging and invigorating.

 So what really defines me?  I think there are a lot of aspects to that question.  Yes, my interests and desires are a part of that, along with how I spend my time and with whom I interact with daily.  There are so many things I want to accomplish - I want to be a successful, helpful healthcare provider to my patients.  I want to marry a great companion and ultimately my best friend.  I want to have a wonderful family.  I want to enjoy the blessings of my great family I have now.  I want to learn how to enjoy the moment rather that be so focused on what the future will bring. 

 If I make the most of each day and really utilize the time and talents given to me, then my character is becoming refined into that person I desire to be. 

 More will come with time.

One Week Completed

A quick update on my life!  I have officially started my second week of school.  I'm still loving it, which is a good sign.  We are learning all sorts of interesting things regarding the head, neck, nervous system, and all things pertaining those areas.  It's amazing how the whole body is interconnected from the muscles and bones to the organs to the capillaries to molecules, and works as one great machine.  I am excited to learn more about the body and how it will help me in the clinical setting.

Friday night I took a break from studying and went out with a couple of girls to dinner.  It was nice to focus on other things, because life is going to continue on without me always being there.  Saturday I studied most of the day.  I met up with some of the Tweener PA Students (done with 12 months of the didatic phase of school, not on rotations yet).   It was great being apart of that.

 Sunday, Father's Day, I went to church and then spent the evening at JP, Mary Ann, and Max's.  Max is one and took his first few paired steps yesterday.  He is super cute, even when he fusses.  It was great spending time over there.  I always love the welcome from all and especially the teasing from JP. :)  Around 9 pm, I was getting sleepy.  My schedule has definitely changed and I can tell.  The early morning classes, 7 am, are early.  It will be nice once I'm totally adjusted to the change.

Overall, I enjoyed my first week of school and I'm excited to learn more.  I love spending time working on the cadavers and interpreting the clinical importance of structures and functions.  I just need to remember: one day at a time.

Balancing Life

It is going to be difficult to find a balance in my life right now.  As I have officially finished my first week of school, I realize that my free time will be limited.  I feel like I have a months worth of studying from a couple days of lecture.  Today I had 7 hours of Medical Physiology.  That was just one day and we covered all of general phys and neurophys.  It was very interesting when I could stay in tune with what the doctor was teaching us.  I enjoy learning about the body, but after that long my attention span is gone.  I was tired of studying after a long day of classes, so I took the night off.  I'm not sure if that was the smartest thing to do, but there has to be a balance in all things.  I find it intriguing how my thought process works.  How does one thought randomly enter the mind?  I can be so focused on something and then out of nowhere something triggers another type of thought or reaction.  The brain is a mysterious machine to me.  Off to dream about osmotic pressure, the SNS/PNS, and cell biology.  It will be a good one!

Health

What is health?  And how do we maintain our health?  As providers, do we rush past the patient or do we really see and hear them?  Does the rigorous educational studies dissuade our initial intent of serving the patient?

To me health is maintaining a balance between physical, spiritual, emotional, and mental well-being.  As healthcare professionals we have to remember that everyones perspective of health is different.  A class assignment for the quarter is to spend three hours each week on something new that will help us maintain our own health.  With this intense of a program the faculty observes the students forgetting to stay health themselves.  I have commited to meditating for 30 min, six days a week on something outside of class.  I think this will help me remember that other things in life are also important.  I can not only focus on school.

Medicine is continually changing.  I think that is one thing that pushes me toward this field.  I look forward to what I am going to learn, even in the challenging times.  I hope that the program doesn't discourage me from my primary goals: helping people.

Last night of freedom

Tonight is my last night before graduate school starts!  I have had a very productive day.  I woke up around 6 and did some reading.  I finally rolled out of bed & showered around 8, then planned out my day.  I hit Ross, Circuit City, Target, Walmart, and Sprouts to catch up on some much needed shopping for groceries, dressy clothes, laptop bag, and other various items between 11 and 4.  I came home and popped a delicious pizza and prepared for an eventful night of ironing my clothes while watching a few tv shows.  Now I'm finishing last minute preparations, such as packing my bag with pencils, paper, computer equipment, and laying out my clothes for tomorrow, and fixing up some tasty snacks.  What a way to enjoy my freedom, eh?

I'm looking forward to this new experience.  It has been a while since I've really been in school, though, so I'm a bit apprehensive to having a structured schedule and high stress/demands.  It will be good for me to have something to focus on, other than my daily selfishness.  I hope that I will learn the adequate knowledge to be a great provider in the future.  The school has some great philosophies about the mind, body, and spirit model of healing.  It will be intriquing to learn more details how the body functions and how I can help people, whether with preventative measures, or practical tools.  I have never been great with understanding chemistry, or maybe it just hasn't been taught in a way that has urged me to learn it.  But I love the anatomy and physiology of animals; hence, humans.  I'm sure that it will be very challenging, but a worthwhile accomplishment.  You can check out my school: AT Still University, Arizona School of Health Sciences, Mesa campus.

Time for the "get ready for bed" process.  I hope to have pleasant dreams and peaceful rest.

Here are a few pictures from my trip to NC.

 

Steve and Sarah rock climbing!

 

Sarah at Douglas Waterfall.

 

High Falls, in NC.

  

Sarah and Steve at Triple Falls and High Falls. 

Maddy sitting so peacefully on Steve's lap for the drive home from Triple Falls & High Falls.    

 

Another chapter of my life...

It's interesting how another chapter of my life has closed, yet again.  I seem to have a revolving dating life...  I guess that's what I get for letting myself jump back into things too quickly.  Lesson learned.  I'm stoked for my school life to begin to keep myself occuppied & focused on something other than dating.  Some times it would be nice to foresee the future, but I guess that's part of this experience here.  Learning to trust and have faith that everything will work out for the best.  It's good to learn more about myself as I share experiences and different opportunities with others.  It's just hard when things don't always turn out the way you had envisioned for yourself.  I guess there is something else in my path that will be better for me.  I just need to keep moving forward in life and in time I'll reflect back on this moment and see what I have gained through this period of my life.

I thought I'd just add a few pictures from my trip from NC.  Memories that I'd like to share.  It was a great trip and beautiful scenery.  I loved it!

I have much to accomplish before Thurs... run a few errands, be lazy, visit the Scovilles, get school focused, and enjoy my last few days of doing nothing!  Not much time left.

I have all sorts of mixed emotions right now.  I'm nervous for school to start and I really have to learn things to become a provider.  It's not going to be like undergrad where I just learn it for the test, spit it back out on paper, and shed any useful knowledge for more trival tidbits.  These are tools I'll need the rest of my life.  Good thing we are required to be continually educated on the most recent research.  I'm totally excited at the same time to start something that I've been working towards the last 20 years of my life.  I've always been interested in healthcare, for as long as I can remember, and love working with people.  School has never been my specialty, but I do enjoy learning.  And I know I'll enjoy PA school (even when it's hard and I'm about to break down) because it will be things relating to the human body and medicine. 

How is it that you come to know what you should pursue for a career?  And how do you decide what is of interest to you, whether as a hobby or passion?  I'm am so grateful that I have a focus on what I desire to accomplish in my life, and that I am capable of sticking with something until all I can do is done.  Uncertainty and doubt are easy to come by.  I'm so thankful that I am grounded in my pursuit of happiness. 

Â

Oops

I'm still learning how to use my blog, so don't mind the font, size, alignment, etc, mistakes on that last blog.

Tagging

Tag you're it!  I've been tagged by chez scoville and passing it on to you!

What was I doing ten years ago?

I was a young gal ten years ago.  I would have just finished my sophomore year of high school and enjoying the freedom of summer.  I would have been looking forward to my "sweet sixteen" in August and searching for a job.  Doesn't that sound exciting?  I was definitely hoping for a car of my own that year, but that didn't happen.  I was lucky enough to use a family vehicle at all.  I'm sure I was loving sleeping in and procrastinating my daily chores.  I would practice the piano or share any other talent that would distract my parents from my lack of service around the house.  I was such a slacker.  I loved spending time with my friends at that age: swimming in the ditches, drinking Leo's shakes, jamming out to LoTus behind Staples, and scrapbooking pictures of all our fun.  Those were the days. 

What was I doing one year ago?

I was enjoying my last few days of free rent at my brother and sister-in-laws house before my sweet nephew, Max, came into the picture.  We loved eating brownie sundaes, watching Grey's, sitting out by the pool, and barbequing.  JP, my brother, liked to give me much needed advice while teasing me about my day to day blunders.  He's helped me have a tougher heart and stronger defense to things outside my control.  What would I do without him to build me up? 

I was being swept off my feet by the cutest cowboy of them all with his dashing smile & exuberant personality.  I was hooked after that first meeting by the tithing slips.  Memories!   

I was also revising my application for PA school.  Glad that process is all over.  Yeah!  I'm finally starting school up this year.

  
Five snacks I enjoy:

-kashi crackers & cottage cheese

-enviga & south beach chocolate crisp bar

-chips & salsa

-any sort of fruit

-pretty much I love food...put almost anything in front of me and I'll eat it (unless it's absolutely disgusting)

Five songs I know all the words to:

Not any off the top of my head. I just pretend that I know the words to songs...

Five things I would do if I were a millionaire?

-start an orphange

-buy a house

-travel
 

Five of my Many bad habits:

-procrastination-I wait until the very last minute to get things accomplished

-holding feelings in until I explode

-not flossing my teeth as often as I should

-being hyprocritical-preaching one thing and then not doing it myself (e.g., eating out of the ice cream bucket)

-

Five things I like doing:-reading a good book-spending time with my family

-baking & eating treats (brownies are a favorite)

-playing a fun game of tennis

-shopping when I have money (which is never)Five things I will never wear again:

Five of my Favorite toys:

-my laptop

-my bike

-my roommates kitchen aide

-my make-up (it's fun to get dolled up every once in a while)

TAGGING

Phil & Mar

Amie & Mat

Jenny

INSTRUCTIONS: I didn't get the full instructions...so make it unique to yourself and tag someone else. 

Inspiring Moments

How do you decide what inspires you to improve?  Or how do you become motivated enough to make a change or take that leap of faith that's needed?  Over these past few weeks I've had a lot of unpredictable events occur in my life. I'm not sure how to react, or how much to invest with these current changes, but intrigued by the fact that life is constantly changing.  I know I need to be open and willing to allow changes to take place, but don't want to be naive to the situation at hand.  Where do you draw the line?  Or how do you open up, but not too much?  I don't want to be guarded and miss a great opportunity and friendship, but worried about allowing those feelings to fully develop when there is nothing to develop.  It's hard to know what is truly an inspiring moment, when to take that leap of faith and move forward into the unknown. 

Asheville, North Carolina has been a blessed place to visit these past couple weeks.  It's sad to say the time is almost over.  I sure have enjoyed spening time with Amie & Mat, and family out here.  It was great to have the parents & Steve come along for the fun.  We've done all sorts of things from hiking, sleeping, talking, reading, playing games, more talking, relaxing at the picnic table, frisbee golf, shopping, and plenty of eating.  I love food!  It's been good to do some pondering and thinking about what is most important for my future while surrounded by some of God's beautiful creations.  It's most pleasant out here with the rolling hills and pastures with mini horses, cows, and all sorts of singing birds.  Nature definitely inspires me to be grateful for the simple things in life.  I love the tranquility and peacefulness that enfolds me while laying under the shade tree, or listening to the thunder roll, or star gazing in the wee hours of the night, or walking down an unknown path through a grove of trees.   

 Among all this beauty, I've decided that I'm in love with love.  I want to find someone that is willing to share all my desires, hopes and dreams, along with my fears and uncertainties about life.  Love is a miracle.  I know that when I find true love that it'll be a blessing from heaven.  Don't get me wrong...I'm content with my life and where things are headed in my future with school.  But I love seeing people that are "in love" with each other.  Even after 30 some odd years they still hold hands and have that look in their eye.  It is inspiring to see that two people can come together and truly make a union of their lives.  I hope that I will one day meet the right man and be the right woman, and make the right decision to be married for eternity.  To me, marriage brings satisfaction only when you are ready and willing to be open to the change and responsibilities that are involved with that commitment.  I will just continue forward with my life, and pray that I'll not pass by a great opportunity to build a friendship and potentially an eternal companion.

Other inspiring moments have been developed over this vacation time as I've read various articles and quotes.  My favortie book right now is by Neal A Maxwell "All these things shall give these experience."  He presents the ideas of who God is, and how knowing who he is helps us come to know who we are: children of God.  Thus, knowing this helps us build a relationship with Him and our Savior, Jesus Christ, by building the trust needed through constant pray and being willing to accept the answer that is given to you.  There are lots of little phrases that I highlighted and that impressed my soul.  I love having those moments of true joy and understanding that He is willing to give us, if only we are open to hear Him.

 Even with life's challenges, there is much to be greatful for.  I'm stoked for school to start next week, even if I'm a little nervous.  I know everything will work out.  I just need to stay focused and have good time management.  I'm so glad that I was able to spend time with family and enjoy their good company.

 Life is always full of surprises!  You just have to look for the good in those surprises and you'll find those inspiring moments.